Road warning

A sign on a road that tells people to look out for cars?

The world has an over population problem. If you need this then you are not part of the solution.

Cigarette warning

Ok. Just to make this absolutely clear to everyone. Smoking is addictive. Is this just cigarettes? Does it include crack? I've never seen a warning on my crack pipe.

Wet stairs safety

"Surface may be slippery in wet weather"

We're talking about stairs here people. Stairs that may be slippery in wet weather. You know what happens when stairs get slippery? Cancer! And Explosions! So have caution around stairs that are wet and slippery or you might get cancer and explode!

This was a public service announcement.

I'm no physicist, but I'm pretty sure people after the age of 12 know that wet things are generally slippery.

More platform safety

"Danger! Moving trains"

But that doesn't make sense at all. Why would there be trains here at the train station? And I don't get why being on the train tracks is dangerous. Surely there are no moving trains at the train station. I think they're just trying to hide something behind this gate. I'm going to jump over and have a look.

Platform safety

"Over 100 people a year fall down the gap when getting on and off the train. Pay special attention when the platform is crowded".


Dear State Government,

You have an information poster at the train station stating that: "Over 100 people a year fall down the gap when getting on and off the train". This is what we call natural selection.

Your poster goes on to warn people to: "Pay special attention when the platform is crowded". This is messing with natural selection. It is enabling those who would otherwise have their genes removed from the gene pool to stay in the game. This is not how Darwin would have wanted it.

Please stop.

Regards.

Pram safety

I came across this at the train station.

Where do I start?

"Remember to hold on to your pram"

 Oh really? I thought prams drove and parked themselves these days. I should stop watching Sci-fi movies.

"For your free pram safety DVD phone 1800 625 352"
It's a fucking pram!!!! If you need a pram safety DVD then I propose that a birth control one would be more useful.

Fly spray warning

Sniffing bug killer is bad for you. But now what am I going to do with this case of fly spray?

I'll just store them in the living room corner next to the fire place, and right under my gun rack.